4. We always have to guesstimate when it’s exactly the right time to do it.
Fingers are perfectly acceptable moisture barometers, but since we left the days of cramming three digits inside y’all in high school behind (at least I hope we did), I’m forced to make a general guess as to whether I’ve rightly razzed your jooch. Eighty-five percent of the time, I get it right, but those other times I realize right away I jumped the gun. Then I feel very stupid. And disrespectful. There should be one of those Thanksgiving turkey pop up ding things on pussies is what I’m saying.
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