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[adinserter block="17"]

YOUR VIEW: Do fathers need to help moms discipline their children?

by Sodiq Lawal Chocomilo
December 19, 2023
in XTRA
Reading Time: 3 mins read
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Four days ago, a technician declared to his pals that he wouldn’t hit any of his kids if they disobeyed his wife. I approached them and waited impatiently for him to finish the bottle of chilled coke he was sipping.

Why don’t you complete your narration? Why don’t you explain what prompted your earlier statement? These were the questions on my mind. I really wanted him to make some comments about his previous declaration.

Nigerian men also enjoy gossip. Before another man requested him to finish his narrative, I assumed I was the only one who found the technician’s narration interesting.

Do not make my absence a danger to my children. Let them be themselves around me too. If they offend you, hit them or forgive them. Let them see in me a loving and forgiving father who is available for conversation anywhere and at any time.

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I’m not a devil. He calmly landed as he hurled the empty bottle of iced coke he had drunk and said, “Stop yelling at my kids and don’t tell them that they would be in trouble if their father comes around over wrongs done to you.”

It does not make you a bad person to reprimand a child for misbehavior. The four main goals of punishment, according to criminologists, are retribution, deterrence, rehabilitation, and prevention. You don’t have to take the said child’s blood.

As the technician stepped aside to create a space for me on the bench, I reprimanded him, “Sometimes a slap does the magic or breadth-taking exercises.”

The technician replied that all parents should respect child discipline because it tends to rectify misbehavior, but my wife can’t expect me to hit our kids for hurting her. Three categories of adult men were created by this line of reasoning.

One group agreed with the technician’s choice, another disagreed with it, while the third group was undecided. It was a time when men of experience were pushed by their innate intelligence to learn new things.

The technician claimed that his wife now routinely informs him of any wrongdoing committed against her by her children. He stated that sometimes she succeeded in persuading these kids after forcing me to beat them if they had offended my wife in the morning but she would wait until nightfall to report them.

This greatly increased the distance between myself and the kids. Our interaction level dwindled. They easily confide in their mother while finding it difficult to spend 30 minutes in a room with me. Their mother, who facilitates these beatings, is viewed by them as a nice, good, and fair person, while they perceive me as a severe, evil, and awful person. I would beat them if they offended me.

The technician said, “If they offend her, she should beat them too.”

Can punishment make a child loathe his or her father? That question lacks a definitive response. We have diverse reactions to problems. In some cases, children love their mothers the more despite abuses.

I once persuaded a 9-year-old kid’s mother to refrain from using corporal punishment, and I’ve seen the lad sob uncontrollably whenever his mother fell ill. Despite receiving harsh treatment, some children still adore their fathers.

Is the technician envious or is he pressing for a fair and balanced reaction from the parents? Is he more worried about his wife’s reaction to punishing these kids? Or perhaps all he wants is to share the children’s affection for their mother.

If you ask me, I believe that parents should respond to their children’s disobedience or criminal behavior in an even-handed and fair manner. When a youngster is left alone, neither parent is viewed as a favorite but rather as a collaborator in the child’s development.

Children have a psychological propensity to retain memories of suffering. They mature, but they never forget those awful times. When one parent reprimands a child while the other either overlooks or encourages the child to win the child’s affection, the youngster not only causes problems for the other parent but also poses a danger to society.

Who has the authority to discipline a child for actions or crimes? Should parents use varied punishments? What do you think of women who choose to inform fathers about their child’s inappropriate behavior rather than discipline the child? Is the technician concerned because he does not want his kids to perceive him as a severe and evil person? I will be excited to read your views on the matter.

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