Most celebrities succeed at virtually everything relating to their career; they bag lots of endorsement deals, increase their fan base, get local & international recognition, amongst many achievements. However, if there is one area many of them are struggling with, it is marriage. These celebrated persons often work their heads off to build an efficacious career and name for themselves yet when it comes to keeping their relationship working, they fail – whether a relationship between two celebs or if one of the couples is a celeb.
The recent past one months has been filled with lots of marital / relationship sagas from the marriage crash of Paul Okoye (Rudeboy) and his wife Anita, the Idibia’s hot saga, Tonto Dike’s crashing relationship, Alexx Ekubo’s crashed relationship to the paternity fraud issue that broke Nedu Wazobia’s home. These are stories we know about because they made the news; there is every possibility that more news regarding celebrity marriages will resurface.
This isn’t to say that there aren’t celebrities who are having a good marriage there are many. However, the continuous news of divorce & breakups that keep spreading through social media is a cause for concern.
According to a study out of the U.K.-based Marriage Foundation, globally, celebrities have a divorce rate of around 40% within ten years, nearly twice the rate of the general population, with females having more divorce rates than men. Despite all the comforts and advantages of fame and wealth, these celebrities just find it very difficult to keep a durable and peaceful home. But why? What causes the failed marriages of celebrities?
Societal Pressure
This is the biggest cause of celebrity splits especially since the advent of Social Media. For many, the intense, unrelenting pressure of public and professional scrutiny is just too much to handle. Celebrity lives aren’t like those of the general public. They’re constantly being watched, as every step they take is monitored.
Celebs are seen as mini-gods & role models and any little thing they do meets the eye of the public. They’re always under review, and every action they take can affect their bottom line as their popularity waxes and wanes.
Add to this the pressures of critics, threats, stalkers, and other security issues, and you have one stressed-out celebrity life. It is also often a source of depression, paranoia, drug abuse, and acting out for many celebrities.
These things wreak havoc on marriage as one or both partners desperately look for solutions to cope with these pressures. If one or both parties fail to understand each other, it generates lots of differences which when irreconcilable, would end the marriage. It can really be hell for some of these celebs.
Celebs need to try their best to steer clear of the eyes of the public; they should learn to reduce their engagements of social media as it pertains to their relationships with the opposite sex and their marriage.
Infinite Temptation & Transparency
Celebrities face more temptations than any other person in the World. They work with some of the most beautiful people in the world. They’re adored by thousands of fans. Their money can take them anywhere, and buy them anything.
Slay queens & Obsessive fans constantly offer themselves on a platter of gold to male celebs and are willing to ice it with being ‘baby mamas’. Politicians & wealthy men offer money & expensive gifts to entice female celebs. The moment these celebs begin to give in to these advances, cheat and become shady to their partners, it usually births problems that cause a strain on their relationship. The case of Tonto Dike & her estranged lover Kpokpogri is a good example of allegations of cheating.
If we want to be faithful in our relationships, we should consider if we’re engaged in behavior with others that would make our partners uncomfortable if they were present. If the answer is yes, we may want to reevaluate our relationships and set more boundaries.
Insecurity & Lack of Trust
The Opportunities celebs see in their career such as flirtations from fans, if not handle well can erode trust and confidence in the marriage.
When these celebrities aren’t disciplined and don’t set boundaries with these fans, these flings definitely have an impact on their marriages, as their partners doubt their loyalties. The moment doubts begin to occur in the mind of one of the partners, & the other celeb-partner doesn’t show his/her proof of loyalty, the relationship is surely heading for a crash.
A good example is the case of Tuface Idibia, whose fling with his baby mama Pero, brought insecurities to his wife Annie. This has caused lots of tension in his family, such that he had to flee home to seek refuge elsewhere.
A healthy marriage requires that partners consistently prioritize each other, communicate openly and treat each other with respect and kindness.
Too Far from Home / Neglect
Celebrity couples often spend lots of time apart from each other; at project locations, events. They are engrossed in different projects that make them spend less time with each other. They tend to totally forget about their homes and concentrate on their careers, thereby turning their spouse into a wallpaper which is only noticed when the concentration is focused.
Many of them forget that their spouses & children need to spend quality time together with them. Many of their partners are subjected to loneliness and sometimes, seek solace elsewhere. This can lead their partners to cheat on them or break up to be with their newfound love.
It’s quite hard staying in love with someone unavailable, physically and emotionally. When there is no balance between the career and the home, the marriage is threatened.
Emotion can be feeble. It’s easy for them to slip out of feeling for their partner and develop affection for someone else – especially some new attention. Do you know what they say about “out of sight, is out of mind”?
Once you treat the relationship like the priority it is, your time apart won’t make you feel so disconnected.
Ego, lack of Accountability & the desire for freedom
One of the things that come with marriage is being accountable to one’s partner. However, with their fame, charm, and charisma that have wowed many people, celebs tend to develop this ego that makes it difficult to wanting to be accountable to anyone. They feel their power and the freedom it commands help them get what they want as soon as they want it.
Unfortunately, such freedom & unaccountability do not seat well with marriages, where it is traded in as a form of compromise for the longevity of the union.
In any relationship or marriage, it’s important to consider your partner’s needs and wants, not just your own. But since many celebs are accustomed to being the center of attention and admiration, this doesn’t always work out. When two powerful people start asking one another to give up attention and time, resentment can brew, which if unresolved usually leads to divorce.
Fairytale & Unrealistic Expectations
It is often said that “Life isn’t a bed of roses”; this is also true about marriages. We often hold celebrities up as that which we aspire to. We fantasize and think their real-world relationships are always like the movies they act in ( for actors celebs), where the story climaxes on a good note – ‘living happily ever after’. I am sure some people who marry celebs also have this view & expect their celeb partners to be perfect since celebs are seen in their immaculate demi-god forms.
But the truth is that the reel relationships that we see in the media aren’t the same as the real relationships underneath. These people experience the same, if not more, problems that all of us do. Many forget including the celebs that they are humans like everyone and would have to face the rigors of marriage when they come.
The fairytale of the lavish celeb weddings often beclouds the mindset of the couples that marriage has both happy & sad phases. Many don’t face the reality of life but often think they are still playing to the scripts. For some others, they are playing to the script of the public irrespective of how compatible they are with their celeb-partner.
Sadly, when reality dawns & the very real problems of these famous men and women come out, they are usually huge and devastating. Celebs need to face the reality of the real world because real love is so different from reel love.
Conclusion:
In reality, celebrities aren’t gods. They are just as human as the rest of us—even more so. Think of them as normal people, but amplified. Bigger homes. Bigger money. Bigger breakdowns. Bigger blowups. Bigger pain. They are life, exaggerated, and when they fail, it all happens beneath the ever-watchful public eye.