Blended Family: How to Make a Blended Family Work

Learn 6 effective strategies to create a strong, loving, blended family that lasts. Blended Family, How to make a blended family work.

Parenting and family relationships can be difficult, and mixed families are no exception. Some specific problems that members of this type of family may confront are unpleasant, but their experiences may be extremely gratifying. If you’re part of or thinking about starting a blended family, the advice we’ll give you can help you and each member succeed.

What Is a Blended Family?

Blended families, or stepfamilies, are formed when parents bring children from previous relationships into a new household. This unique family structure can present challenges such as children adjusting to new living situations, having new siblings, dealing with disagreements about family rules, merging parenting styles, and managing relationships with biological parents who are former partners.

This type of family may confront issues that non-blended families do not, so particular suggestions and tools that address this unique situation are essential. Examples of these difficulties include:

• Children who are experiencing difficulty adjusting to a new living situation
• Children who are having difficulty adjusting to having new siblings
• Resolving conflicts over family norms or routines
• Bringing together parenting styles
• Managing any disagreements with biological parents who are previous partners

Helpful Tips For Helping Your Blended Family Thrive

Each family’s situation is unique. That being said, you might try some broad tactics to make members of your blended family feel recognized and cared for, as well as to ease the transition of joining residences and/or family time.

Give It Time

Combining families, especially when merging households, can be a bit chaotic initially. It takes time for everyone to adjust emotionally and logistically. The American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry suggests that blended families often take one to two years to adapt to their new situation. Patience and compassion are key during this period. Be consistent, mindful of changing child(ren) needs, and reassure them that they are loved and valued.

Provide Structure

Children thrive in stable environments. Implement routines and structure in your blended family to offer them the support they need. Consistent bedtimes, assigned chores, regular family bonding time, and a stable living environment can help children feel grounded. Research suggests that consistent bedtime can improve sleep, emotional stability, language development, parental attachment, and more.

Remain Flexible

While structure is essential, rigidly sticking to it can cause problems. Be prepared to adjust your expectations as the needs of your children evolve. For instance, some children, particularly adolescents or those struggling with the transition, may need more space initially. Flexibility can ease the transition over the long term.

Manage Relationships with Exes

Interactions with ex-partners are inevitable in blended families where both partners bring children from previous relationships. Strive to keep these relationships cordial, stable, and calm. It benefits the children and minimizes conflict.

Keep the Lines of Communication Open

Communication is crucial in blended family dynamics. Regularly check in and encourage open dialogue about how things are going. Ensure everyone feels comfortable expressing their feelings, frustrations, suggestions, and requests. Teach children the art of active listening, set rules about respect and honesty, and allow everyone to establish their boundaries.

Speak with a Therapist

Parenting is never easy, and blended families come with unique challenges. If you and your partner are struggling, consider seeking help from a trained therapist. They can equip you with the tools to address problems and maintain a strong relationship.

Online Therapy: A Convenient Option

Balancing schedules to attend in-person therapy can be challenging. Online therapy, through platforms like BetterHelp or ReGain, offers a convenient alternative. You can connect with a licensed therapist via phone, video calls, or in-app messaging from the comfort of your home. Research indicates that online therapy can be as effective as in-person sessions, making it a practical option for busy families.

Wrap Up

When blending your family with a new partner, you can create new traditions and lasting connections. Challenges are natural, but with structure, open communication, flexibility, and the support of a therapist if needed, you can build a strong and loving blended family.

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)

How long does it take for a blended family to adjust?

A blended family often takes one to two years to adapt to their new situation. Patience is crucial during this time.

Why is structure important in a blended family?

The structure provides stability for children and helps them feel grounded as they navigate changes in their lives.

How can I manage relationships with my ex-partner in a blended family?

Strive to keep interactions with ex-partners cordial, stable, and calm for the benefit of the children.

Why is open communication vital in blended families?

Open communication ensures that everyone’s feelings, frustrations, suggestions, and requests are heard and respected, promoting harmony in the family.

Is online therapy effective for blended families?

Yes, research suggests that online therapy can be as effective as in-person sessions and is a convenient option for busy families.